There was a deep scare, various misgiving and hope, her bitter experience turned them into pain which stayed in the heart and the soul, this is exactly what was appearing on Selma's ( 22 years old ) face, while she was narrating to me what had happened with her before many years,when someone had molested her.
Salma said: I had been exposed to different cases of molestation in different times during my life, this molestation also differs in its acts and its effective period. I hide them because I was scared of my family's reaction, and the possible look of merciless society, that is why accidents were repeated.
As Selma's explains: the society with all of its cultural and mental elites, in addition to that simple sections which are working to earn their living, all of them had acquired the secretive nature since a long time.
When the problem touches the red line of customs, traditions,and morals, we didn't see except lips bite on each other while it wasn't allowing the tongue who wants to talk Salma continued: first molestation case was at five, he was our neighbor, at that age I couldn't know what was happening, but I had the feeling that it was suspicious thing. He tried to take my clothes off, T cried and got rid of him, then I went home, I couldn't tell any of my family, since that time I became isolated, I tried to avoid that person and I had never went out at all, as if I did some dishonorable act, or I had some fault.
Mad Yara:
In the same domain but in different event ways, Yara confirmed that she became one of earth tortures. Because of force and coercion that her sister exposed to, in addition to confiscation any kind of any right of speaking even to her family.
Yara insisted that whatever she exposed to molestation, she will never inform anybody about it. Because she had been seen what happened to her old sister when she informed her father about someone tried to talk with her, and molested her. As soon as my father had heard the accident, he blazed with anger like flaming fire and he began to beat my sister severely, he cursed and insulted her, then he prevented her from going to school, and more than that he forbid going out on him except with my mother. He had conviction that she did not respect street politeness and public morals.
Various reasons but same result:
Yara continued: persecution, violence, and breaking all of girl forbidden,in spite of this she still hiding behind silence wall, although she knew that she have to revenge for her dignity, and she must repel every one want to harm her, in order not to reach by her silence to repeat the molestation, then it will evolve into rape.
This is the normal evolution for her silence and weakness, all of that had been touched by the aggressor and by her.
All of that was for avoiding the scandal, far away from any human esteem to the girl as an entity, dignity, and honor.
what I narrated previously, happened with my sister by stranger from the street, so what kind of the molestation it will be if it came from relative.
She stopped talking, then her eyes watered, while she say: Allah is enough for me". "
After she had calmed down,she continued her painful speech:
I could not remember the details but I exposed to that accident and I blame my family, because they are responsible for our personality and entity weakness in addition to they did not teach us how to rebel against anyone who harm us.
they implanted inside us some feeling that victim of this actions did wrong with freedom usage because he did not respect herself in the street.
silence wall
Amal ( 22 years old nurse ) brook silence wall, when she shouted on that doctor who was working in the same hospital with her and threaten him that she will throw herself from the balcony if he touched her.
Here was the scandal which had already spread all over the hospital, and words scattered here and there (without any fault from me ).
Amal continued: I still paying for that accident, It affected on my psychological case that it caused allergy against any man
I will be in the same place with him for just few seconds, and from other side it was the bad look from my family and society.
I did not get married until now, no one would marry me after hearing my story, he will never believe that I was defending for my honor.
unexcusing fear
The social researcher "Gihan. Morad " confirmed that girl who exposed to rap may feel fright from expressing to her parents she is scared from punishment and she is also scared from the aggressor himself. In addition to insult feeling which rap caused.
Girl will became exposed to psychological disturbance like grief, frustration, fear isolation, and difficulties with forming an the independent personality which have successful relationship.
Morad adds: we need consciousness in the sexual education of family and after it in the kindergartens, and in every foundation a girl may attend.
Basis which girls or boys will grow on it must be built on scientific and religious props because all religions doesn't invite to fear or lowness, even in embarrassing matters which must be permissible in the daily conversation of the conscious and respected family.
Kholoud hadak, 2/7/2010, (When the hope turns into pain … narrating by earth tortures )
Translate by: Nesreen hasan